


The Trouble With Normal

by RuntotheForest



Series: Forged in Fire [3]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Alec Hardy Needs All the Hugs, Alec Hardy gets some loving!, Ellie Miller has the patience of a saint, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, Muffins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:28:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuntotheForest/pseuds/RuntotheForest
Summary: After the events described in the previous two installments in the series, Alec and Ellie attempt to ease their way into a 'normal' life and relationship, but various issues arise that seem to make 'normal' more challenging than it needs to be.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Forged in Fire [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048102
Comments: 79
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go - the beginning of the last installment in this series (If you haven't read the first two, it would be really helpful to do so!). Please stick around for the continued adventures of Alec and Ellie in this version of my HC. I've loved writing this, and will be sad when it's over!! Find me on Tumblr as SorryBrian!

Alec Hardy was knotting his tie for only the second time in several months when his mobile buzzed on the nightstand. He momentarily abandoned the tie, picking up his phone and donning his glasses to read the text, most assuredly from Ellie.

**‘Good morning! Tip for the day: Remember to smile and say thank you. That will really freak them out.’**

He chuckled softly to himself, and quickly typed back a reply.

**‘Morning. Why would I need to do either of those things?’**

The reply came instantly.

**‘Don’t ask. You’ll find out.’**

He raised an eyebrow and tapped out his response.

**‘Not sure I want to know.’**

_Buzz._

**‘You definitely don’t.’**

Today was to be Alec’s first day back at CID in nearly fourteen weeks of at-home recovery from a gunshot wound to the torso, suffered during a harrowing incident in the autumn. He had been cleared to return to partial duty before Christmas, but CS Jenkinson had insisted he wait until after the first of the year. In the past month, he had briefly tested the waters of working from home, communicating with his team through various electronic means. He found videoconferencing endlessly tiresome and frustrating and was anxious to be back on the job where he could more effectively delegate tasks and communicate his thoughts.

Alec turned back to his tie, completing the neat knot at his throat, then took a quick glance into the mirror. Customarily, he wasn’t one for checking his appearance, but it wouldn’t hurt to make sure he looked put together for his first day back. 

His assessment was that he looked thin, but healthy. He had regained most of the weight he had lost while recuperating – Ellie had made sure of that. She had taken on the arduous task of getting him to eat heartily and regularly. Her success was marginal when dealing with quantity – he still fussily picked at his food like a toddler, often eating only small portions. But Ellie had managed to stock his cupboards and refrigerator with foods she knew he liked and would therefore eat. Sometimes she would stop by after work or on weekends with food she had already prepared, giving him little choice but to eat it. He grumbled, as she knew he would, but there was no real conviction in his complaints. What Ellie fixed, he usually ate.

Secretly, he was pleased that she made such an effort for him, and he tried to train himself to eat more frequently, even when he didn’t feel like it. As a result, he was properly nourished – for perhaps the first time in years. 

His mobile buzzed again.

**‘Have you gone for your walk yet?’**

**‘Yes. At sunrise.’**

Alec had also been working on rebuilding his physical endurance after his injury. Once cleared by the doctor, he had started a daily walking routine. At first, he could barely make it a block before having to turn back toward home, his energy depleted. But after weeks of determinedly and gradually adding distance, he was up to walking several miles at a time, sometimes along the shorefront, sometimes atop the jagged cliffs, sometimes both. 

Ellie encouraged his walking regimen, not just for the physical benefits, but also for the mental boost he received. She knew he relished these quiet thoughtful walks by himself, usually taken late at night or early in the morning, when he wasn’t likely to run into anyone. It allowed him to work things out in his head that he might have otherwise destructively obsessed over. She hoped he would be able to continue this routine now that he was going back to work – she was certain he would need the outlet.

The phone buzzed again with Ellie’s response.

**‘Good. Were you dressed appropriately?’**

**‘Of course. My Ellie wouldn’t have it any other way.’**

Ellie had also given Alec trainers, sweats, and a tasteful gray anorak for Christmas, proclaiming that she would not under any circumstances allow him to be the only person in England who exercised in oxfords, trousers, and a mac. Alec had raised only the tiniest of objections to her proclamation, mostly because he felt she would be somewhat disappointed if he didn’t make any fuss at all. But he also secretly enjoyed the way she looked at him in athletic clothing – somewhat mystified, as though she had never before met this strange, fantastical version of Alec Hardy.

His mobile rang in his hand.

“Couldn’t wait a moment longer to hear my voice, huh?” he joked as he answered.

“’ _Your_ Ellie’?” 

Alec wasn’t sure if she was amused or annoyed. He cleared his throat.

“You would hate it if I called you my girlfriend.”

“Yes, I most certainly would.”

“You would hate it if I called you my partner.”

“Because that’s what we are at work. The two situations are not equivalent.”

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“You would _really_ hate it if I called you my lover.”

“Well that just sounds ridiculous. Please, _never_ _ever_ use that word.”

“Fair enough,” he said, with vague uncertainty. “But you are _my_ Ellie. Not that you _belong_ to me or anything, but that you’re my – I mean, I think of you as – well, I hope you feel – ”

“I know what you mean, silly. I just wanted to hear you try to explain it.” She gave a short laugh. “That was stellar, by the way. First class description.”

Alec cleared his throat as if to speak but didn’t respond. He felt as though his brain had somehow switched itself off.

“Breathe, Alec. Jenkinson would have my badge if you keeled over before you even made it back to work.” She laughed again. “Don’t worry, love. I was just taking the piss. You’re _my_ Alec, too.”

He didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath and exhaled slowly with relief.

“Oh. Good.”

He heard her sigh at what he could only surmise was his complete lack of eloquence.

“Well, let’s not be late because we were talking and texting each other,” she said. “That would be quite ridiculous when we’ll just see each other in minutes.”

His brain clicked back on.

“Wait _, you_ called _me_ ,” he said, mildly indignant.

“Don’t be a knob about the details," she clucked. "And don’t forget what I texted you. Smile and say thank you.”

“Right. For unknown reasons.”

“Exactly. See you at work.” Then, she added coyly, “ _Sir._ ”

That made the back of his neck tingle.

\-------------------------------

Alec parked his car in his designated Broadchurch Police parking space and grunted as he pushed himself up and out from behind the wheel of his car. Although his injuries had mostly healed, his movement was still somewhat inhibited due to some muscle damage caused by the bullet’s path through his abdomen. His doctor never missed an opportunity to remind him that it could have been so much worse had the bullet ripped through an internal organ or lodged itself in his torso. As it was, it had just missed his kidney and large intestine on its way through his body. 

Ellie had teased that the bullet went straight through him because of how bloody thin he was, and he had silently admitted to himself that there might be some truth to her jokey hypothesis.

His doctor had waited for the wound to heal before sending Alec to physical therapy to loosen the scar tissue and manipulate the damaged muscles. His first appointment had been just after Christmas, and it had left him feeling battered, bruised, and wobbly on his drive home. Ellie had shown up at his house that evening with a heating pad and a bottle of scotch, vehemently vowing that she would drive him to and from all subsequent appointments.

 _“I’m not going to watch you survive a gunshot wound and almost bleed to death, just to see you die in a car crash caused by bloody physical therapy,_ ” she had said. 

Alec had sipped his scotch and offered no objection.

Now he stood outside the striking round police building, mentally preparing himself for what he figured would be a bit more socializing than he was ever really comfortable with. He hadn’t been back to the station since a week after the incident that took him out of action, and he barely remembered his visit – he only knew that he had unceremoniously vomited in Jenkinson’s office while giving his official statement. He had then spent months trying to erase from his memories the absolute mortification of throwing up in his boss’ waste bin.

Hopefully, today would be better.

As he stepped out of the elevator into CID, he was met with a loud cheer and applause from a sea of smiling faces. A large banner screamed, “Welcome Back!’ He remembered Ellie’s words and managed a slight smile.

Jenkinson stood in front of the crowd, next to Ellie. She walked up to him, hands outstretched.

“We’ve missed you, Alec. We’re very glad to have you back.”

Much to his surprise, she pulled him into a tight hug. Behind Jenkinson, Ellie was grinning at them. Alec felt a blush creep up his cheeks and was grateful when Jenkinson released him a few moments later.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” he said, weakly but sincerely. “I’m glad to be back.”

Ellie stepped forward, beaming at him with that smile he adored.

“Normally, we would have made you a cake, but since you’re, well, _you_ , there’s a fruit plate for you, and some pastries for the rest of us.”

He nodded dumbly. Everyone was smiling brightly at him, which he found rather bewildering - he was much more accustomed to their smirks and frowns.

“Speech!” someone shouted, then a few others took up the call. Alec felt an instantaneous sense of dread but, again remembering Ellie’s earlier text, he took a deep breath and spoke.

“Uh, I’m not one for a speech, but I, uh – it’s good to be back. And I, uh, really appreciate this. Thank you all.”

There was a smattering of applause and a few cheers, then Ellie came to his rescue, exaggeratedly pointing to the decorated table filled with snacks.

“Help yourself to pastries, everyone!”

The crowd mercifully dispersed, and Alec received a few jovial claps to his back, to which he smiled and nodded to the best of his ability. 

Ellie remained directly in front of him, and he touched her arm lightly.

“Thank you,” he mouthed silently.

“I’ve got you,” she whispered back. She touched his hand. “You did well.”

“Just like bloody Churchill,” he laughed.

“Just. Now if you head to your office, I’ll bring you a fruit plate and a cuppa and you won’t have to talk to anyone else.”

“I can do that?”

“Yes, but be advised that the lot of them will probably poke their heads in at one point or another to tell you they’re glad you’re back. You’ll get so good at smiling and saying ‘thank you’ that you’ll wonder why you haven’t been doing it all along.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not sure that last bit is true, but I’ll try.”

She touched his hand again.

“See? You’re not completely hopeless.”

\------------------------------

It was a long, but not unpleasant day.

Ellie had been correct, and various CID colleagues had indeed popped their heads into Alec’s office, welcoming him back officially, and telling him he either looked well, or they were glad he felt better, or something similarly obligatory. He had become expert in delivering his equally obligatory response.

Just before noon, Jenkinson had stepped into his office with a stack of paperwork, setting it apologetically on his desk.

“You have a few things to catch up on, Alec, but thankfully, criminal activity is currently at a minimum. Post-holiday lull, I expect.”

Alec nodded.

“Makes sense.”

Jenkinson returned his nod, then seemed to study him appraisingly.

“You look well – certainly better than the last time you were here.” She gave a short laugh. “Although that’s not saying much.” 

Her expression turned serious, and she leaned across the desk slightly.

“Alec, I know you were cleared by your doctor, but if you have any issues at all, you absolutely _cannot_ keep them a secret. We both know your history of hiding your health issues. I’m hoping Ellie is a good influence on you. If today is any indication, I would say that she is. I’ve never seen you act so gracious for such an extended period of time.”

She smiled wryly.

“Shitface seems to have left the building,” she said, as she turned and left his office, leaving Alec gaping after her.

\--------------------

Ellie brought him mid-afternoon tea and dropped down onto the sofa opposite him.

“How are you holding up?” she asked.

He leaned back in his chair and gingerly stretched his upper body, wincing a bit at the movement.

“Not too bad.” His eyes began to twinkle mischievously. “This whole politeness thing is exhausting, though.”

“Wanker,” Ellie said fondly.

They had discussed how to best handle their relationship at work and decided they wouldn’t hide it – everyone already knew about it anyway – but they would remain professional. Ellie had consulted Jenkinson, who was surprisingly understanding and insightful about navigating a personal relationship in a professional setting. She and Alec had both privately wondered to each other if their CS had previous experience with such a situation, but they both knew this was a question they would never dare to ask.

“There are a few curious eyes surreptitiously checking us out right now,” Ellie was telling him, under her breath. “I’m sure they’d love to see us furiously snogging, but I think we’ll save that for after hours. What do you think, love?”

His mind stuck only on ‘furiously snogging’.

“What?” was all he could say.

She smiled seductively.

“Uh oh. I’d better leave before your brain short-circuits.”

She stood and discreetly blew him a kiss before leaving his office.

No, this day was _definitely_ not bad at all.

\--------------------

That evening, he sat on his sofa eating the pasta she had brought him (he had prepared his own salad). It had become commonplace for her to make enough dinner to feed herself, her boys, and Alec. She had started this routine while he was recovering and unable to cook for himself, and it had simply continued without comment or question. Ellie bringing dinner for Alec also gave them a built-in opportunity to spend time together without making specific plans to do so.

Ellie sat snuggled beside him, with her feet curled up underneath her.

“I’m quite proud of you, you know,” she purred, leaning her head on his shoulder as he shoveled food into his mouth. “You were almost pleasant today. Your colleagues are quite mystified.”

“Mmmph,” he said nodding, his mouth full of pasta. He swallowed, then took a sip of water. “Is that a good thing?” he asked, legitimately unsure of the answer to his question.

“I think so,” she said, “unless you’re mostly concerned about maintaining your reign of terror.”

“That’s overstating it a bit, don’t you think?”

Ellie ran her fingers up and down his arm and laughed.

“Of course, love. You’ve always been only _mildly_ terrifying.”

“I’m sensing some sarcasm.”

“Not at all. I've always known you’re really just a skinny teddy bear in disguise.”

Alec snorted.

“Now you’re just mocking me.”

“Yes, I am,” she said, with a toothy grin. “But I must say that it’s a bit weird now that not everyone is scared to death of you. It’s kind of sweet, really.”

“Great,” Alec huffed. “They’ll all think I’ve gone soft.”

“Oh love,” she said, “you don’t realize it, but you’ve been soft all along. It's just that others are now starting to see it.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but she put a finger against his lips.

“But I like that about you,” she said, and kissed him deeply.

He reciprocated the kiss, then pulled away, distracted.

“You really think I’m soft? Have I lost my edge, then?”

She took his hand in hers and stared into his deep brown eyes.

“Don’t be silly. This is not something you should worry about.”

He shook his head rapidly.

“But I _should_ worry about it. What if it means I can’t do my job as well?”

She squeezed his hand.

“You’re overthinking this, Alec.”

He sighed deeply.

“You’re probably right.”

“I am right. Alec, you’re the best cop I know, besides me, of course.” She giggled a bit and managed to coax a fleeting smile from him. “Seriously, though. Your detective skills aren’t going to mysteriously abandon you if you show your colleagues your human side. If anything, it will help you out because your team will want to do the things for you that they used to grumble about.”

He sighed again.

“Fine.”

“Fine?” She traced the edge of his beard down his cheek. “I can sense that this isn’t the last time we’ll talk about this.”

“No, it’s fine. Really.”

“Okay,” she said, not really believing him, “but under no circumstances should you lose a moment of sleep over this.”

Later, in the early hours of the morning, as he lay wide awake, staring restlessly at the ceiling, Alec decided not to tell Ellie just how many moments of sleep he’d lost.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec deals with an unfortunate issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I've really approached the subject of sex in any of my fics, so forgive me. It had to happen sometime. 💕

Alec’s first week back at CID had been a blur of mind-numbing paperwork, endless cups of tea, and continuing attempts at politeness. He couldn’t wait until he could get back out on even the most routine of calls: vandalism, petty theft, whatever – any of it was better than being stuck at his desk, going through an endless stack of paperwork, forcing a smile at some wet-behind-the-ears DC (his name started with ‘D’ maybe?), who was trying to get on his good side. Alec wasn’t even sure he _had_ a good side.

And then there was Ellie.

He was not accustomed to working with her, now that they were a couple. Even though they had discussed how to handle their relationship at work, the discussion couldn’t possibly have covered whatever it was that happened to his brain if she did or said anything even remotely suggestive. Much to his horror (and Ellie’s amusement) he seemed to lose the ability to think rationally or speak coherently. 

One morning, she delivered his tea and leaned alluringly over his desk, and his mind went so maddeningly blank when he saw the tiniest bit of the top curve of her breast that he accidentally deleted a vital email. He had been forced to put a call in to IT to help him retrieve it.

On another morning, she stood behind him, looking over his shoulder at his computer screen, and he could feel her warm breath on his neck, and she had to repeat what she had told him three separate times – because the first two times, he could only focus on the way her breath heated his skin and made him shiver involuntarily.

The physical part of their relationship had begun several months earlier, during his recovery, when he had healed enough that he and Ellie could have lengthy snogging sessions on the couch. Things had progressed to a point that they had both been very vocal about wanting to take the next step, but there was some fear that Alec’s recovery wasn’t far enough along to allow for it. Ellie had insisted that he talk to the doctor, and he had agreed – reluctantly, but only because of the sheer mortification of discussing sex with another human being.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ellie had said, “People talk to their doctors about sex all the time.”

“Well, I don’t!”

“Well then, you need to start! Not only do we need to know if it’s safe for you, but Christ, Alec, you’re a middle-aged man!”

“So?”

“Your sexual health is _always_ important, but especially as you start to get older.”

Alec had raised his eyebrows in alarm, then promptly stuck his fingers in his ears.

“I’m not listening to this,” he had said, childishly obstinate.

Despite his unexpectedly juvenile response, she had reached up and lightly grabbed his wrists, pulling his fingers from his ears.

“Alec,” she had said, ever so gently, “listen to me.” She was still holding his wrists, and she had gazed deeply into his dark brown eyes. 

“Not only do I _want_ you, but I want you for a _long time_. Please talk to your doctor.”

She hadn’t needed to ask him twice.

\----------

Six weeks after he was shot and nearly bled to death, during his weekly post-injury check-in, Alec had cleared his throat uncomfortably when his doctor had asked him if he had any additional questions.

Dr. Lowery had paused, apparently unaccustomed to Alec showing any interest in asking questions about his recovery. Things were always different when Ellie came with him. She had always let fly with a barrage of questions, while Alec listened and remained mostly mute. On this day, however, Alec had adamantly refused to let Ellie accompany him, preferring to tackle this awkward topic on his own.

“Is there something else, Mr. Hardy?”

Alec had looked at his shoes.

“Um, yes.”

He had shifted uncomfortably on the exam table, making the protective paper underneath him crinkle with his movement.

“I wanted to know if it’s all right, or, um, if it’s even _safe_ for me to, uh – “

He had glanced quickly at the attending female nurse, feeling a blush creep up his neck, thankful for the scruff that covered it. The nurse had smiled benignly.

“Yes?” Dr. Lowery prodded patiently.

Alec had raked a hand through his hair and taken a deep breath.

“Is it okay for me to have sex?” he had blurted out, finally.

Dr. Lowery had smiled knowingly, and the nurse had mercifully shifted her gaze to a point on the floor.

“I’m glad you asked, Mr. Hardy. Because of the serious nature of your injury, and the fact that is in the abdominal region, I’m not going to sugar-coat it – sex could be uncomfortable. You will need to be careful. And you may have to get creative to make it manageable.”

Alec had just stared straight ahead and nodded dumbly, his mind racing through multiple ‘creative’ scenarios that he desperately tried not to imagine while in mixed company.

“And then there is the issue of ejaculation.”

Alec had inexplicably begun to cough, wincing painfully, and Dr. Lowery had placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re all right?” he had asked, mildly concerned.

Alec had nodded again, his coughing tapering off, and Dr. Lowery had let his hand drop from Alec’s shoulder, taking a small step backward.

“That same pain you feel when coughing is similar to the pain you would feel during ejaculation. But, obviously, there is also the pleasurable release that comes with it, no pun intended. Only you can decide whether the pleasure is worth the pain.”

“It is,” Alec had found himself saying, without even realizing he was speaking. 

Dr. Lowery had smiled again, and the nurse’s grin seemed to grow wider, although Alec wouldn’t look at either of them directly, silently praying that the gods would keep Dr. Lowery from saying the word "ejaculate" again.

“That’s good, then. If you have a partner who’s willing to, uh, tread lightly and get creative with you, there’s no reason why you can’t give it a try. Just be extremely careful. I also assume that you are already familiar with each other intimately?”

Alec’s throat had seemed especially dry.

“Uh, no. We aren’t. Not yet. But we want to be. Um. Very much.”

Alec had thought the nurse’s practiced smile grew even wider at that, and for a reason he couldn’t seem to pinpoint, he had found this comforting. 

“Then the two of you should have an interesting process of discovery together.”

Alec had felt himself exhale with relief, glad he had made it through such an awkward conversation without completely humiliating himself. In fact, the nurse had waited for him outside the exam room as he was leaving.

“I probably shouldn’t say this,” she had said warmly, “but I think you are very brave. Your partner is a very lucky woman indeed.”

Alec had blushed and shaken his head self-deprecatingly.

“Thanks, but _I’m_ definitely the lucky one.”

\--------

And thus it was that Alec had found himself looking up at Ellie as she had straddled him and gently lowered herself down onto him.

He hadn’t lasted long, not the first time. She had ridden him slowly and carefully, and _god_ , she felt good. And _fuck_ , she was so beautiful, especially when she was doing _that_. And when she had given him release, _damn_ it really _had_ hurt like hell – but it had also felt like heaven and earth all at once, and he loved her more than he ever thought possible.

Since that first time, and even now, after months of glorious practice, any time he even thought of sex in her presence, he couldn’t keep his mind from thinking of her as the holy, revered goddess that she was while making love to him. It took his breath away. 

He also discovered that it also occasionally took his head out of the game at work.

And although there may have been a slightly thrilling element to it, DI Alec Hardy could not afford to be rendered ineffectual by his lusty imaginings. Work wouldn’t always be so slow, and he wouldn’t always have desk duty.

\--------

That Friday evening, with Fred already in bed and Tom out with friends, they lounged on Ellie’s couch, and Alec voiced his concerns.

“What am I supposed to do about this?” Ellie asked, both bemused and somewhat irritated at the same time. “Do I wear turtlenecks or button my shirt up to my neck every day so there’s no chance you might see a tiny bit of skin? Do I remain an arm’s length apart from you so I can’t possibly touch you or breathe on you?”

“Yes,” Alec replied, quite seriously.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“You’re too alluring.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, then kissed his cheek.

“Flattering. But – how on earth did we ever manage to work together for all those years without this issue?”

“We hadn’t had sex yet. Once we did, that changed everything.”

“How did that change everything?”

His sigh was long-suffering.

“Because now, whenever I see any bit of your skin, or feel any part of you, or see you looking at me like you want me, I think of how we are when we’re _together –_ how you look, how you _feel_ – and then I just have to _stop_ thinking. If I allowed myself to think, I would need to stay barricaded behind my desk for a while, if you know what I mean. And that can’t happen at work. So I just shut down. My mind goes blank.”

Ellie’s smile was delicate.

“That’s both the silliest thing I’ve ever heard, and possibly the sweetest.”

Alec buried his face in his hands.

“This is not an acceptable situation,” he grumbled.

“But we’ve been having sex for a few months now.”

“I know. It wasn’t an issue until I had to go back to work. I haven’t had to keep a clear head until this past week.”

Ellie looked appropriately thoughtful.

“So how do we solve it? Maybe you can think of someone else instead of thinking of me.”

He peeked at her curiously from behind his hands.

“Like who?”

“Jenkinson, maybe?”

He shook his head emphatically and frowned.

“God no. I don’t want to think of my boss when my mind is clouded with lust for you. That’s just – inappropriate.”

“Hmm, fair point. That _would_ be weird.” She thoughtfully lay a finger on her lips. “What about Dirty Brian?” she suggested.

Alec’s hands fell from his face, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Still weird, but maybe better?”

She snickered.

“Wait, Dirty Brian is not who you want to think of when your thoughts turn sexy?”

He scowled, shaking his head violently.

“’Dirty Brian’ and ‘sex with Ellie’ should never be in the same sentence. Or in the same time zone.”

She smiled wickedly and ran a hand through her unruly curls.

“Maybe you’ll just eventually get used to my unceasing lusciousness.”

“Maybe,” he said, sincerely. “I’m doubtful, but hopeful.”

He took her hand, kissing the back of it gently, then cleared his throat.

“So how do _you_ deal with it when you’re, um, well, when you, uh – “

“You mean when I'm at work and I desperately want you?”

He nodded dumbly.

“Well, I don’t have to worry about hiding behind my desk, obviously.” She leaned toward him seductively. “So I just _lust_ away, without fear.”

He groaned.

“That’s _not_ helping.”

She chuckled and kissed him deeply. 

“With all this talk about wanting each other,” she said seductively, “maybe we should take this upstairs?”

“God yes,” he said, enthusiastically, finding her earlobe and nibbling at it gently.

Ellie shivered and giggled, grabbing his hand. She stood, gently pulling him toward her.

“Mmm yes,” she purred, “let’s leave all this talk of Dirty Brian down here, on this couch, and go somewhere we can _play_.”

Alec hesitated suddenly, then pulled his hand back and looked away.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie said, startled. “Did I say something?”

Alec leaned back on the couch and shook his head ruefully.

“I think we may have found a solution,” he said, giving a wry smile. “You mentioned Dirty Brian again - and suddenly I’m not remotely interested in sex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this silly chapter. As always, thanks for reading. I love getting feedback, and will always answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec takes Fred on a journey and deals with some resentment from Tom.

“Uncle Alec. Uncle _Alec_. Uncle Alec!”

Alec’s brain was foggy with sleep, but through the fog he heard a small voice repeating his name, growing more insistent with each repetition. And someone was pushing his shoulder, or _shaking_ it, rather.

“Hmm,” he said, eyes still closed.

“I need you, Uncle Alec,” said the voice.

Alec slowly blinked his eyes open until he was able to recognize the extremely close face directly in front of his.

“Hey, wee lad,” he murmured sleepily. “What d’you need?”

“I can’t reach the cereal, and I’m hungry.”

Alec squinted at the bedside alarm clock. It was 5:15 in the bloody morning. On _Saturday_. He turned and looked at Ellie, and she was still sleeping soundly, breathing heavily, her legs tangled with his.

The realization dawned on him that he was not wearing anything underneath the blankets. 

He usually put pajamas on when staying over at Ellie’s, but he must have fallen asleep before he had a chance. He had been fairly knackered last night, after a long first week back at work, followed by an enthusiastic shag after he and Ellie had managed to recapture the mood.

“Give me a minute, lad,” he whispered. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“Why do you need a minute?”

“Privacy, lad.”

He reflexively pulled the blankets up to his shoulders. 

“’K,” said Fred, and he bolted from the room.

Careful not to wake her, Alec gently extracted his legs from Ellie’s, then quickly threw on some clothes and headed downstairs. He found Fred sitting, tapping impatiently on the kitchen table with the back end of a spoon. He quickly grabbed the box of cereal, a bowl, and some milk from the fridge, all the while listening to the tap, tap, tap of the spoon on the table.

“Fred, it’s early. Try not to make noise, okay? Not everyone wants to be up right now. It’s Saturday.”

“Do _you_ want to be up, Uncle Alec?”

“No, not really, lad. But I _am_ up, so it doesn’t really matter.” He sat down at the table with Fred. “When you’re done eating, if you want to go back to bed or watch telly quietly, I’ll go and take a walk.”

“Can I go with you?”

“On my walk?”

Fred nodded enthusiastically. Alec raised an eyebrow at him and considered.

“It’s cold out there, and you can’t really make noise,” he warned. “If you were to wake up the neighbors, your mum would NOT be happy. Sure you want to go?”

“Yes! Please can I?” 

He bounced up and down on his chair.

“All right, fine. Then hurry up and eat, or we’ll miss the sunrise.”

\-------------

They made their way up to the cliffs noiselessly. Alec told Fred they were practicing their ‘ninja skills’, which required them to be stealthy, silent, and observant. Fred took his role quite seriously, putting his finger to his lips and looking over his shoulder as they walked. But after a while, he became a bit spooked by the glistening darkness and stillness of the early morning, and he grabbed Alec’s hand for comfort and warmth.

Once atop the cliffs, they found a bench and sat side by side. Alec threw his arm around Fred’s shoulder, Fred leaned into him, and together they watched the sun come up.

Fred was awed by all the various colors that sunrise had painted on the horizon. 

“Why isn’t the sky that color all the time?” he asked, his voice edged with wonder as the sky glowed in oranges and reds.

Alec searched his distant memory for an explanation of the science.

“Well, it has something to do with the way light travels and bounces off tiny bits of air. In the early morning, the sun is far away, so the light it gives off must travel a very long way. When it has to travel so far, the light is red, orange, and yellow, like you see now. When you see the sun up in the sky, its light doesn’t have to go so far, and it’s blue – like you see on a sunny day.”

“I like it better like this. It’s pretty.”

“Me too, lad.”

They sat there for a while, Fred chatting about the kids in his class and Star Wars while Alec listened quietly. The sun was moving higher in the sky, and the colors were diffusing and beginning to pale when Fred abruptly shifted gears.

“Uncle Alec, how come you didn’t wear pajamas when you were sleeping?”

Alec’s jaw dropped open, and he had a moment of blind panic as he tried to come up with an acceptable answer that wasn’t a complete fabrication.

“I usually do wear pajamas, Freddy,” he said, and he hoped his voice wasn’t shaking. “But sometimes, I get…hot.”

Well, that wasn’t a lie, if one considered that ‘hot’ had multiple figurative meanings that Ellie’s seven-year-old was probably unfamiliar with.

“Does Mummy get hot too?”

Alec tried to keep from thinking about Ellie as ‘hot’ while he was talking to her young son. His mind flailed wildly to find an acceptable answer.

“Uh, sometimes. But she’s a girl, and girls seem to get colder easily.”

 _That wasn’t so bad_ , he thought, fairly pleased with himself for his quick thinking, even if his answer made little sense.

Fred considered the answer carefully, oddly silent for such a whirling dervish of a boy. The answer seemed to satisfy him, much to Alec’s relief. His relief, however, was short-lived, as Fred began to squirm a bit, becoming restless after sitting quietly for so long.

“Can we go home now and have hot chocolate?”

“Sure, lad," Alec replied, chuckling. "We’ll still have to be ninjas on the way home, though. It’s still early on a Saturday morning. And when we get home, we’ll have to stay quiet because we don’t know if your mum or Tom are awake yet.”

But Ellie was indeed awake and waiting for them when they returned. Fred threw himself at her legs joyously.

“Mummy! Uncle Alec took me to watch the sunrise! And we were ninjas!”

Ellie wrapped her arms around her son and smiled brightly at Alec.

“Is that so?” she said, kissing the top of his head and releasing him to the table to await his hot chocolate.

She disappeared into the kitchen briefly, then reappeared, thrusting a cup of hot coffee into Alec’s chilled hands.

“Thought you might need this,” she said, somewhat apologetically. “What time did he wake you up?”

Alec smiled ruefully.

“Quarter past bloody five.”

She kissed his cheek.

“Sorry,” she said with a wry smile. “Thank you for taking him with you. No doubt he’ll be talking about this for some time.”

Fred proved her right when a rumpled, half-awake Tom stumbled into the kitchen about an hour later.

“Tom! Uncle Alec took me to watch the sunrise!”

“Wow,” Tom replied, in his best monotone.

Tom was clearly unimpressed and wanted everyone to know it. Fred, however, didn’t seem to notice his big brother’s disinterest.

“And we were ninjas too! We were so quiet and nobody knew we were there!”

“Super.”

“And now I know why the sky is so many different colors in the morning now! It’s because – “

“I don’t care, Fred.”

“But Uncle Alec said that light – “

“Stop calling him that!” Tom burst out. “He’s not even your real uncle, but you act like he’s your dad! Seriously, it’s stupid!”

He turned and abruptly left, leaving everyone gaping after him. Fred ran to Alec and buried his head in Alec’s chest, while Ellie stood, casting a glare at the staircase Tom had just ascended.

“Sorry,” Ellie mouthed to Alec. “I’ll be right back.”

She clambered up the stairs noisily, so Tom would know she was coming, and opened his door without knocking. He looked up at her, determinedly scowling.

“What the hell was that?” she demanded, folding her arms across her chest.

“I dunno,” Tom muttered, looking anywhere but at his mother.

“What would make you say such a horrible thing to your brother, who idolizes Alec? And with Alec in the room? What is wrong with you?”

“What does it matter? Who cares what I think anyway?”

Ellie frowned.

“We all do, of course.”

Tom shook his head.

“No, Fred only cares what Alec thinks. And Alec only cares about Fred anyway – and you, but that’s different.”

Ellie stared at her son.

“You think Alec doesn’t care about you?”

Tom didn’t answer the question, but instead started asking questions of his own.

“Why is he even here every weekend? I mean, I know you’re dating and stuff, but why don’t you just go to his house?”

“Because you and Fred are here, and it’s important for me to be with you – _and_ Alec.”

Tom didn’t say anything.

“Why don’t you think Alec cares about you, Tom?”

“Why would he? I’m Joe’s son.”

“Fred is Joe’s son, too.”

“But Fred doesn’t even remember Joe, so it’s not the same.”

Ellie took a deep breath, exhaling slowly through her nose.

“I can guarantee you that Alec doesn’t look at you and think of Joe.”

“He doesn’t look at me at all, Mum!”

“I’m sure that’s not true. And even if it were, you don’t exactly run to him to tell him about your life.”

“He wouldn’t care anyway.”

“Stop saying that! He probably thinks _you_ don’t care about _him_.”

“Maybe I don’t!”

Ellie stopped and glared at him, lowering her voice dangerously.

“I know you don’t mean that.”

Tom didn’t respond and Ellie could feel the anger rising in her throat. Her hands went to her hips.

“Tom Miller, you will march right down those stairs and apologize to your brother and Alec for being so rude!”

“Fine, but I won’t mean it.”

“All right then, I’ll relieve you of your Playstation until you _do_ mean it.”

“You can’t _make_ me mean it!”

“Maybe not, but I can make it so you have nothing to do but think about why you _should_ mean it.” Her eyes narrowed. “What’ll it be, Tom? I can do this all day.”

Tom’s eyes shot silent daggers at his mother, but he got up and stalked out of the room. Ellie followed him downstairs, where Fred and Alec were sitting at the table, sipping their hot chocolate and coffee respectively.

Tom paused at the bottom of the stairs.

“Sorry,” he announced to no one in particular, then turned to walk back up the stairs. Ellie, however, was standing right behind him.

“Not good enough,” she said. “Tell your brother and Alec what you’re sorry about.”

“Sorry I was rude,” he said morosely, then turned to look at Ellie with a smirk. “Okay??”

Ellie nodded curtly and Tom couldn’t bound up the stairs fast enough. 

Ellie shook her head in consternation and joined Alec and Fred at the table. Fred was busy licking whipped cream off his lips and pretending his right hand was an anteater. Alec was looking at Ellie with those wide brown eyes that were far too incapable of hiding pain and disappointment.

“Hey, Freddy, why don’t you go watch some telly for a while. You can watch an episode of Danger Mouse, okay?”

Fred’s eyes brightened, and he scrambled off, leaving his mostly empty mug of cocoa.

“Sorry about that,” Ellie said softly. “I think Tom is a bit confused about how he feels about you, and he is definitely unsure how you feel about him.”

Alec frowned and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Well, we do have an awkward history.”

“It’s more than that, love. Things are somewhat more complicated now that we’re together. Also, your relationship with Fred is different than your relationship with Tom. He notices the difference.”

Alec sighed and slumped in his chair.

“I’ve always tried to be careful, so he would know I wasn’t trying to replace his dad.”

“Maybe you’ve been a bit _too_ careful. He thinks you don’t notice him.”

Alec blinked at her thoughtfully.

“Hmm. I should talk to him then, yah?”

“I don’t know if it will help right _now_ , but I think it would do more damage in the long run if you didn’t say anything.”

He nodded solemnly.

“Wish me luck,” he said, and Ellie leaned to him, lightly kissing his cheek.

“I have all confidence in your brilliant powers of persuasion,” she said, smiling brightly.

“Well,” he said, with a sigh of trepidation, “that makes one of us.”

\---------------

Alec rapped gently on Tom’s door, which had been noisily and obviously closed after Tom had stomped up the stairs. There was no response to his knock, so Alec tried again.

“Tom, can I come in?”

“Go away,” came Tom’s voice through the door.

“I’d rather not.”

There was a brief silence, and Alec began to think Tom would leave him awkwardly hanging.

“Fine. I guess you can come in,” he finally said.

Alec opened the door to find Tom perched tensely on the edge of his bed.

“Can I sit?” he asked gently. 

Tom shrugged noncommittally.

“If you want.”

Alec lowered himself, wincing slightly, onto the corner of the bed, careful not to sit too close to Tom. The bed squeaked under his weight.

“I’m not the best at talking about stuff like this,” he admitted, “but I think we should.”

“Whatever.”

_This wasn’t going to be easy._

“Okay, how about I talk, and then you can let me know if you have any questions or comments. Does that work?”

Tom shrugged again.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” said Alec, struggling to keep his temper in check. Tom was making it a point not to look at him. Alec felt somewhat defeated already, but he resolved to press onward.

“Listen, Tom, I want you to know that you matter to me. Even though you may not think so, you do. It’s been important to me that I don’t push too hard to get close to you, because I don’t want to drive you away. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take your dad’s place.”

“I don’t care about Joe,” Tom said quietly, almost a whisper, shifting his gaze to his hands in his lap.

“You’re entitled to feel however you do about Joe. But whatever you feel about him, you still lost a parent, and that’s difficult for a lad your age. I think I’ve probably been trying too hard not to come off like I’m trying to replace Joe, and you may understandably interpret that as meaning that I don’t care about you – but it is, in fact, quite the opposite.”

Tom briefly looked up at him before looking back down at his hands, and Alec felt a glimmer of hope. 

“Tom, you must know that I love your mum very much, and you and Fred are part of that deal. It’s easier for me to get on with Fred, because he's seven, and I don’t have to try very hard to impress him. But you’re sixteen, and you’re a lot more complicated. I want to respect that, but I also don’t want you to think I don’t care. I do. Very much.”

Tom nodded briefly, almost imperceptibly.

“Is that all?” he asked, maintaining his air of indifference.

“Almost,” Alec replied, and he leaned across and patted Tom’s knee. “I just want you to know, I am here for you, however you need me. Just ask. Or text. Or send a carrier pigeon.”

“A what?”

“Uh, never mind. But I think you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.”

“It may take a while for us to get it right. As long as you’re willing to try.”

“I guess.”

“Good. Then why don’t you come downstairs and have some breakfast.”

“Okay.”

Alec stood up, gritting his teeth to keep from audibly grunting. Tom watched him silently.

“Coffee or hot chocolate?” asked Alec, trying to shift the focus back to Tom. 

“Uh…hot chocolate. Coffee’s kind of gross. It smells way better than it tastes.”

“Ah, that’s why you load it with milk, lad.”

“I’ll stick to hot chocolate.”

“Coming up, then.”

He attempted a reassuring smile, then left the room.

Back downstairs, he grinned at Ellie who was still sitting thoughtfully at the table. 

“Progress, I think,” he said, and winked. “He’s on his way down for cocoa.”

The edges of her lips curled up in surprise and she started to get up, but Alec raised his hand.

“I’ll make it,” he said, and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Ellie staring after him.

\-------------

Early that evening, back at his house on the hill, Alec was starting to doze off on his couch when his mobile buzzed loudly against the wood of the coffee table. He poked blindly at the green ‘answer’ button.

“Hmm?”

“Are you asleep already? It’s early. Christ, Hardy, you’re such an old man.”

“If you remember, _Miller_ , your son woke me at quarter past five this morning.” He cleared his throat demurely. “And may I remind you that _you_ kept me up later than originally intended last night.”

“Are you complaining?”

“Definitely not. Just reminding you that the Miller clan seriously put me through my paces in the last 24 hours.”

“I suppose you have an excuse, then.”

“Thanks for your compassion.”

“Any time,” she chuckled. “But seriously, thank you for today. Between your sunrise ninja trek with Fred and your supportive father figure talk with Tom, I think you went above and beyond.”

“I told you I would do anything for you and your boys.”

“I know. I think I’m just starting to realize how much you meant it.”

Alec felt a lump starting to form in his throat.

“Well, don’t get too excited,” he said, brushing the compliment away. “Tom and I still have a long way to go. But it’s a start, I suppose.”

Just then, Alec heard Fred’s voice in the background.

_“I’m ready for bed, Mummy!”_

And then Ellie’s voice.

_“Fred Miller, where are your pajamas?”_

_“I’m not gonna wear pajamas, because Uncle Alec told me boys get hotter than girls and have to sleep naked!”_

There was a pause, then he heard her voice again, menacingly low this time.

“Alec Hardy, you are in _so_ much trouble.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Ellie go out on a date.💕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a somewhat self-indulgent chapter, so forgive me. Oh, and *spoiler alert* for the ending of La Boheme, although I think that's probably unnecessary for a 125-year-old opera. Please enjoy my longest chapter to date!

It was the Wednesday of his third week back at CID, and work was still slow. Alec was still confined to desk duty, so at least he wasn’t missing out on much. Nonetheless, his days seemed to be a mindless blur of reading over paperwork until he couldn’t see straight, then signing his initials, his name, or both. Even scanning CCTV footage for prowlers and vandals was preferable to the _nothing_ he was currently doing during regular business hours.

His one interview had been with a defiant vandalism suspect, which would normally not require an interrogation from a Detective Inspector, but Alec was so bored that he assigned himself the task. He hadn’t conducted an interview in months and figured he could use the practice (and the diversion). When he arrived in the interrogation room, he had unleashed his full ‘DI Hardy wrath’ on the smug, smirking youth. By the time the interview had concluded, the poor lad had pledged to live the rest of his life on the straight and narrow. Alec had even made him promise to apologize to his mother, much to the amusement of the young man’s solicitor. 

When Alec had returned to his desk after the interview, he walked by Ellie and rapped twice on the edge of her desk with his knuckles.

“I’ve still got it,” he announced, giving a self-satisfied smile, then disappeared into his office. 

Ellie chuckled to herself and followed him.

“Haven’t lost the old Hardy touch, eh? Still scaring the bejeezus out of the wayward youth of Broadchurch? Did you threaten to cut his tiny little cock off?”

“Something like that.”

“I haven’t seen that gleam in your eye for a while. All for a delinquent vandal. I can’t imagine how enthusiastic you’ll be when we get a burglar or murderer in here.”

Alec sighed deeply and sat down at his desk, trying to keep from grimacing at the motion. He clasped his hands on his desk and stared at them.

“I need to get back out there, Ellie. Sitting behind this desk is killing me.”

“Well, they say that ‘sitting is the new smoking’.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know, I was just trying to make light.” Ellie plopped down on the couch opposite his desk. “You’re not cleared yet to go out in the field, love. You know you’re not ready.”

Alec didn’t say anything and continued staring at his hands.

“Alec, you just need to be patient through a few more weeks of physical therapy.”

“I know, I know,” he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “But I feel so… _impotent_ just sitting here.”

Her eyes gleamed wickedly.

“I can attest to the fact that you’re not.”

He raised his head slowly and stared at her with a pained expression on his face.

“Ellie…”

She lowered her voice conspiratorially.

“Oh, is this a moment when I should mention Dirty Brian?”

“For god’s sake, yes.”

“Done.”

Her smile turned radiant.

“You’re welcome,” she said cheerfully.

“For what?” he asked, marginally incredulous.

“I took your mind off your brooding.”

“I wasn’t brooding.”

“You were totally brooding.”

He sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Okay, maybe I was, just a bit.”

Ellie laughed brightly and the hard angles of Alec’s features seemed to relax at the sound.

“Come on, Mr. Grumpy,” she said, “let’s get some lunch, and I’ll cheer you up some more.”

\--------------

They got sandwiches and sat at a window table in the Nugget Café, a few blocks from the Wessex Police Department. Alec opened his sandwich and scraped the dressing off the bread, while Ellie watched in amusement.

“You’re taking away all the flavor and moisture,” she said. “Now all you’re left with is a bland, dry sandwich.”

“Just the way I like it. You should know that by now.”

“I do, but it never fails to amaze me just how finicky you are.”

“There’s still time to kick me to the curb based on my eating preferences,” he said, smirking at her.

She smiled devilishly.

“I have no intention of kicking you to the curb, but I _will_ take every opportunity to tease you unmercifully.”

Alec gave a little snort of laughter.

“I wouldn’t know what to do if you didn’t. You’ve been harassing me about food since almost the first moment of our acquaintance.”

“It’s in my job description, you know. Detective Sergeant: solve crime, arrest bad guys, harass your boss about his eating habits.”

“Job well done, then.”

They laughed quietly together, and their heads inclined intimately toward one another over the table. They ate in silence, until Ellie reached out a few minutes later, laying her hand on Alec’s arm.

“Alec,” Ellie began, somewhat tentatively, as though she was about to say something he may not want to hear. He arched an eyebrow at her inquisitively.

“What’s wrong?” he said with a mouth full of sandwich, wary of her hesitance.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she reassured, “I promise. I just have an idea that I’m pretty sure you’re going to hate.”

“What kind of idea?”

“Well, I was thinking you and I should go on a proper date – you know, get really poshed up, and do something out of the ordinary. We’ve both been hiding inside since – well, _you know_ , and I’d like to get out there and do something I’ve never done before, accompanied by my favorite scruffy-but-sinfully handsome partner.”

He put his sandwich down and gazed levelly at her but said nothing. She bristled a bit at his lack of response.

“You already object, and I haven’t even told you what I have in mind.”

“I’m listening,” he said coolly. “I haven’t said a word, so how do you know I object?”

“Because it involves leaving your house for something other than work or coming to my house. And I know you’re a hermit otherwise.”

His eyes widened indignantly.

“I’m not a bloody hermit. I’m open to new things,” he protested, then hesitated. “Well, sort of.” He paused again, looking at the ceiling. “Well, okay, hardly ever…” 

“That’s what I thought,” Ellie said, laughing delicately. “But just hear me out on this. If you hate the idea, we won’t do it.”

“God’s sake, just tell me what it is!”

“Fine.” She took a deep breath. “Jenkinson gave me two tickets to see an opera in Poole on Saturday night – some touring production of _La Boheme_. I guess she got them as a gift from the Weymouth CS, but she and her husband can’t go. She wants someone from Wessex Police to take her place, and you and I are the next best thing to Jenkinson herself.”

“Opera?”

“Yes, opera.”

“Do you even _like_ opera?”

“You mean aside from all the screaming?”

Alec snorted.

“Just as I thought. If you think it’s just a bunch of screaming, why on earth would you want to go in the first place?”

Ellie shrugged and took a sip of her water.

“Because it’s different. It’s classy. And it sounds romantic.”

“ _La Boheme_ is extremely romantic.”

Ellie stared.

“How would _you_ know?”

Alec raised an eyebrow.

“I actually quite like opera.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Not at all.”

Ellie frowned.

“That can’t be right.”

Alec cocked his head to the side.

“I assure you, it is. I think I would know.”

Ellie shook her head, incredulous.

“How did I not know this? Have you seen an opera before? Do you secretly sit at home and listen to opera?”

He sniffed indignantly.

“You never asked, yes, and no, in that order.”

Ellie tapped Alec’s forearm and raised a stern eyebrow.

“Spill, Hardy.”

Alec rubbed a hand over his face, then clasped his hands together on the table in front of him.

“All right,” he said with a world-weary sigh. “I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for classical music. Played piano when I was a lad. Sang a bit in school, in choirs. I took a music history class at uni, and it sparked my interest in listening, especially to opera. The first opera I ever saw, I went by myself. _La Traviata_. I sat in the very back of the theater and marveled over everything; the costumes, the story, the orchestra, the singing – especially the singing. The second time, I took Tess to see _The Magic Flute_. She very obviously hated it, and never let me forget it. I’ve not been back since then. In fact, I rarely listen to music at all anymore. Opera or otherwise.”

Ellie impulsively grabbed Alec’s hand and pressed it to her lips.

“I would never have guessed any of that about you.”

“Well, don’t tell anyone. My reputation has already suffered enough.”

“Oh, we’re definitely going to this opera now.”

\---------------

Getting to the opera required a nearly hour-long drive to Poole, where Alec and Ellie had also made dinner reservations in a quaint little Italian restaurant with good reviews on the high street. It was decided that Alec would drive, even though Ellie always accused him of ‘driving like a grandma’.

“Well, at least we’ll get there in one piece,” Alec had snarked. “And this way, you can drink all the free champagne you want.”

“There’s free champagne??”

There had been no further discussion after that.

Getting dressed up was something that neither of them had done or thought about for some time. Ellie dug through her closet to find her go-to ‘little black dress’. She loved the dress because it had a tastefully plunging neckline which showed off her ample cleavage, and a flared skirt that wasn’t too clingy and allowed her to breathe. She had pinned her curls stylishly and made sure not to use a heavy hand on the makeup. She wanted to feel sexy, but not overdone.

Her sons eyed her critically as she twirled for them. 

“Mummy, you look so pretty!” Fred gushed adoringly. 

Tom wouldn’t take his praise that far, but he nodded approvingly.

“Alec will like it,” was all she could get him to say.

As if on cue, she heard Alec pull up, and a few moments later came his knock. She breezed to the door and pulled it open, finding Alec in not just the usual dingy grey suit, but a dark blue tailored suit, a crisp shirt, and matching monochromatic tie. He had trimmed his beard, and she suspected he had even trimmed his hair.

“Well, aren’t you long, tall, and impossibly handsome?” she said, standing on her toes (despite her modest heels) to give him a peck on the lips. Alec could only stare at her, seemingly unable to respond, until she reached up and gently patted his cheek.

“Hello? I’m looking for my date? His name is Alec Hardy. Do you know him?”

That seemed to snap him out of his reverie.

“Sorry,” he said, a bit sheepishly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so – ?”

“Stunning?”

“God yes.”

“Beautiful?”

“Most definitely.”

“Drop-dead gorgeous?”

“All of the above.” He audibly sighed. “I think I’m in love.”

“I certainly hope so,” she said, rocking forward and snogging him deeply.

“Eww, Mum,” came Tom’s voice behind her. “Can’t you wait until you’re somewhere else to do that?”

“Hush, you. Make yourself useful and take our picture.”

At that moment, Fred began racing toward Alec with his arms outstretched, his fingers covered in some unidentifiable goo.

“Uncle Alec!!”

“FRED!!!” Ellie yelled, and Tom pounced into action, stopping his young brother just before he could smear whatever it was on his fingers all over Alec’s impeccable suit.

“Thanks, Tom,” said Alec with a nod. “You saved me.” He turned to Fred, who was being restrained by his older brother. “You know I love you, wee lad, but I can’t have your fingers all over my clean suit. Your mum would have both our heads.”

“That I would,” said Ellie, pushing her phone toward Tom. “Please take our photo before anything goes terribly wrong.”

\--------------------

They were sipping red table wine and eating antipasto in Ancora, the quaint Italian café on the high street in Poole, enjoying the fact that not a soul seemed to recognize them – or if they did, they weren’t obvious about it. 

Other than a few work lunches and coffee runs, this was their first official meal ‘out’, a fact that was not lost on either of them, nearly five months after they had declared their mutual love. They clinked glasses, toasted to their ‘first date’, and tried to keep from openly gawking at each other across the table.

More practically, Ellie was also concerned about her lack of opera experience.

“So, Mr. Opera, tell me what to expect, so I don’t feel like a complete idiot. It’s in Italian, right?”

Alec was busy removing a pit from an olive on his plate and chuckled at her insecurity.

“Yes, it’s in Italian, but you’ll be fine. There will be supertitles, probably projected, so you’ll always be able to tell what they’re saying.”

“Oh good. So you are confirming that people don’t go to operas and just magically know what they’re singing?”

“Uh, no.”

“That’s reassuring. And tell me, what’s so special about this opera anyway?”

Alec popped an olive into his mouth and thought for a moment.

“Well, it’s relatable, for one. Puccini’s operas have realistic characters. There’s a lot of love and romance, but a lot of suffering too. Moments of triumph and moments of tragedy.”

Ellie snorted.

“Sounds like _our_ lives.”

“But with far more singing.”

\----------------------

After paying for their tasty and pleasant dinner, Alec and Ellie walked a few blocks to the massive performing arts complex, which was abuzz with patrons in various states of formal dress. The tickets Jenkinson had given them were apparently somewhat exclusive, and they were ushered to something called the “Founder’s Circle”, which did indeed include attendants handing out champagne flutes.

“I’m glad we at least dressed the part,” Ellie whispered, as she grabbed her complimentary champagne. Alec took one as well, and they stood there sipping, vaguely uncomfortable in the sea of glittery concertgoers.

“I’d be more comfortable if we were looking for a perp among this crowd,” Hardy muttered, and Ellie giggled.

“DI Hardy! DS Miller!” a voice called unexpectedly from behind them. They turned and were surprised to see Weymouth’s CS Masters, who neither of them had seen since that horrifying day almost five months ago.

“Elaine said she was sending someone in her place, but I had no idea it would be the two of you. I’m so pleased you’re here. You both look…well, _so much better_ than the last time I saw you.”

They shook her hand and nodded and exchanged pleasantries that neither of them would remember later.

After she had gone, Alec and Ellie noticed that there seemed to be a bit more focus in their direction – as though Masters’ public identification of them had spurred dawning recognition of their identities. They began to notice glances and hushed whispers.

“Uh oh, we’ve been made,” Ellie said, under her breath.

Just then, a man with a rather large camera walked up to them. 

“Can I get your picture – for the society pages?”

Alec's mouth twisted into a snarl, and he was about to give the man a piece of his mind until Ellie grabbed his arm and surreptitiously tugged.

“Of course you can!” she said, flashing the man her brightest, most welcoming smile. Alec rolled his eyes, but snaked his arm around Ellie’s back, managing something resembling a smile. The man snapped a few photos, then moved on.

Ellie lay her hand on Alec's cheek tenderly.

“It wouldn’t do if you blew up here, love. This isn’t our world. There are different rules.”

Alec nodded grimly, and they went to find their seats.

\---------------

Alec wasn’t sure what he loved more: listening to Puccini’s lush, poetic orchestration; hearing the soaring voices, fraught with emotion; or watching Ellie’s response to all of it.

At first, he wasn’t sure she was going to like it. She had leaned into him, quietly asking why the hell they had to sing so bloody high all the time.

“You try singing over an orchestra without amplification, and see what happens,” he had whispered back. She had shot him a look, but quickly turned back to the action onstage. 

Soon, he could tell she was sucked into the music and the story, her eyes occasionally glistening, her hand fluttering to her chest. He took her other hand and held it on his thigh, loving everything about this moment.

At the end of the opera, as shouts of “bravo!” and “brava!” rang out across the cavernous concert hall, Ellie wiped her noticeably reddened eyes, then gave Alec’s shoulder a solid whack.

“What did I do?” he protested, rubbing the spot she had just smacked.

“You didn’t fucking tell me that Mimi _dies_!”

He gaped at her.

“Why would I give away the ending?”

“To save me from crying like a blubbering idiot in public. At least I would’ve had some warning!”

He smirked and wiped a tear from her cheek.

“Let’s go home, love.”

He grabbed her hand and led her through the throngs of exiting patrons. On the way out, they were accosted several times by well-meaning admirers. One older couple was standing directly in their path in the crowded lobby.

“We’re big fans of yours,” the man said, beaming at them. “Devon’s own hero coppers.”

“And you make such a handsome couple,” his wife said with a wink.

Alec and Ellie smiled and nodded and pushed onward.

Back in the car, as Alec maneuvered back toward Broadchurch, Ellie sighed and lay her hand on his leg.

“That was a memorable first date,” she said.

“Agreed.”

“I loved the opera more than I thought I would.”

“I’m glad.”

They drove in silence for a few minutes, and Ellie stared out the window.

“Do you suppose we’ll always be recognized, no matter where we go?” she finally said.

Alec thought for a moment, then nodded.

“In this area, yes. Although maybe, in time, people will forget our faces.”

“Fat chance,” Ellie said, with a laugh. “I mean, just _look_ at us.”

Alec laughed with her, loving her a bit more with every moment.

About three quarters of an hour later, Ellie was dozing, her head resting against the window, when Alec pulled up to her house. He rubbed her leg gently and murmured her name, and her eyes blinked open.

“We’re here,” he said softly.

“You’re staying,” she said, with a drowsy drawl.

“Oh? Is that an order?”

“Yes. Always.”

“All right, then.”

Later, as he lay in her bed, an arm wrapped securely over her middle, he grinned to himself and absently kissed the back of her head, causing her to stir.

“We’re home,” she mumbled, and Alec wasn’t sure if she was at all awake.

“Yes, my love” he said. “Home.”

“Mmm,” she sighed. “Want my home to be yours too.”

She moved a bit, then once again fell silent except for the rhythmic breathing of sleep. 

Alec couldn’t stop his heart from fluttering at her words. They hadn’t spoken about living together since she had impulsively asked him to move in with her just after the incident that had changed their lives. At the time, they had decided they needed more experience as a couple to determine if living together was a reasonable option. Alec had always known that he would do whatever Ellie needed in this regard and was content to wait for her to bring it up again.

And here it was. _But,_ he reasoned, _she was half, if not fully asleep when she mentioned it_. 

_Does that count?_ he wondered.

As he began to drift off into his own slumber, he resolved to bring it up in the morning. But until then, his mind was blissfully crowded with memories of their evening together. A few years ago - hell, a _single_ year ago - who would have ever imagined Alec Hardy and Ellie Miller holding hands at the opera?

And with Ellie sleeping warmly beside him, Alec fell asleep, grateful for things he couldn’t fully understand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec desperately wants to talk to Ellie about cohabitation, but complications arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot happening in this chapter (much like their lives). I hope it all makes sense! It was my birthday, so it took me a few extra days to finish this chapter. 😁

When Alec awoke the next morning, he was alone in bed, immediately missing Ellie’s warmth and the tangle of limbs that meant they were sharing a bed. He cast a quick glance at the clock, startled to find a later hour than usual. Alec hardly ever slept late and felt slightly panicked on the rare occasions that he did. Now he rolled out of bed with a groan and padded downstairs to find Ellie and both boys sitting at the table, eating cereal and drinking various age-appropriate hot beverages.

“Aren’t we a late riser this morning?” Ellie said with a small smile, sipping her coffee.

Alec mumbled good mornings all around.

“Sorry, we had a late night, as you know, and then I couldn’t seem to get to sleep right away.”

“Oh?” Her raised eyebrows punctuated the question. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Good.” She eyed him with slight suspicion. “I was telling the boys about our trip to the opera. Apparently, we didn’t have to go all the way to Poole to hear incredible singers. The Miller boys have been waiting for you to get up so they could share their opera singing skills with us both.”

“Opera singing skills? Is that so?” He drummed his fingers on the table in mock impatience. “Well, come on, let’s hear it.”

Tom and Fred both grinned wildly and let loose with a ridiculous caterwaul of screeching and overemphasized vibrato that made Ellie and Alec both cringe and giggle at the same time.

“Wow, whatever were we thinking, getting all poshed up as we did, when we could’ve just stayed at home and listened to _this_ all evening?”

“Do you like our singing, Uncle Alec?”

“’Like’ is not quite the word for it, lad.”

They all laughed together, and Alec and Ellie glanced contentedly at one another. 

“Coffee or tea?” she asked him. “Coffee’s already made, tea’ll be a few minutes.”

“Coffee’ll do just fine, thanks.”

She went and poured him a cup, splashing in a large portion of milk, just the way he liked it.

“Perfect,” he announced to the room, and they all sat there for a moment sipping and eating, until Tom cleared his throat.

“Um, Alec?” 

Alec looked up in surprise.

“Mmhmm?” he responded, taking a swallow of hot coffee.

“Uh, I got a second-place award for a digital art drawing I did. There’s an awards ceremony on Thursday night at school. Mum is going. Will you go too?”

Alec was too dumbfounded to answer immediately, which Tom quickly interpreted as a negative response.

“You don’t have to, I mean, it’s no big – “

“I’d love to go, Tom. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Really?”

“Of course. And congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Tom said, smiling as much as a teenage boy could.

The rest of the morning, Alec kept looking for an opening to ask Ellie about the previous night’s bedtime conversation, but he couldn’t seem to find any time alone with her. Fred was climbing all over him, as usual, and even Tom seemed to be hanging around instead of hiding in his room playing video games.

Around noon, Alec headed back to his house on the hill. He and Ellie had decided that they would always try to spend some time apart on the weekends for the health of both their relationship and Ellie’s connection with her boys. Alec never wanted to overstay his welcome, even on a day when it seemed as though nobody really wanted him to leave. 

Alec was pleased to discover that today had been one of those days,

Although he _was_ disappointed not to have had the hoped-for conversation with Ellie, he figured it would hold. Ellie had waited five months to bring it up again, and Alec wasn’t even sure she would remember doing so.

He had waited years to tell her how he felt about her, and even then, it had taken a near-death experience for him to make such an admission.

If nothing else, he knew how to be patient – at least, until tomorrow.

\-----------------

Monday afternoon, Alec had a physical therapy appointment, and Ellie insisted on driving him. As usual, Alec bristled, protesting that he would be fine to drive himself.

“Why must you be difficult about this every time? You know how you feel after one of these appointments. There is no bloody way I’m letting you drive home after. Don’t be so stubborn.”

They were standing in the CID kitchenette sipping tea, and she smacked his arm to illustrate her point. He shot her a glare, but it was devoid of any heat.

Besides,” she added brightly, “you have only a few therapy appointments left, and then you’ll be cleared for field duty!”

He nodded silently and acquiesced. He knew she was right about everything, but he was reluctant to admit it. His subordinates already thought he was losing his hard edges – and needing Ellie to drive him home from physical therapy didn’t help him to prove otherwise to anyone, himself included.

Physical therapy sounded so benign on the surface. Alec had labored under the misconception that his appointments would be somehow relaxing. After an arduous healing process, he was ready to get some TLC from a gentle, soft-spoken practitioner. 

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

His appointments were brutal. They always started with a session in which he was forced to bend, stretch, and hold his body in unnatural and painful ways. It would have been bad enough to endure just that first part of the appointment, but then came the _massage_. In Alec’s mind, ‘massage’ meant something soothing and calming, perhaps with candles and soft music. He had never had a massage, but that’s what he imagined them to be. While they were married, Tess had often scheduled massages for herself during times of great stress, and Alec had noted that the two of them had seemed to get on slightly better for a few days afterward. So it had to be good, right?

It was definitely _not_ good.

This type of massage was downright medieval. It involved ‘manipulating’ the muscles, scar tissue, and facia, and it was anything but relaxing. The therapist, a stocky 30-something athletic bloke named Sam, seemed to get a perverse pleasure out of making Alec yell or groan in pain. Sam actually giggled at Alec’s agony. During an early appointment, Alec had asked why Sam found his suffering so bloody hilarious, and Sam’s response was that laughter was his own defense mechanism against causing people pain. Alec wasn’t sure he believed that, especially when Sam told him that he had a competition with his fellow therapists to see who could elicit the foulest curse word from a patient.

Alec’s contribution was consistently growling the word “fuck” through tightly clenched teeth. Sam told Alec his swearing wasn’t very creative.

But Sam also said the agonizing ‘manipulation’ was doubly important for Alec, because if scar tissue built up in places it shouldn’t, it could affect the placement of his pacemaker. Alec questioned him, citing the distance between the wound just below his ribcage and the device in his chest.

 _“Everything is connected_ ,” Sam had said, describing several vivid and disturbing hypothetical, yet entirely possible situations that made Alec cringe.

Medieval torture was going to have to do. Fuck.

On this particular Monday, Sam did a bit more giggling than usual during their session, which meant that it was particularly brutal. By the time it was over, Alec was sweating, visibly shaking, and unsteady on his feet. 

He was never more grateful to see Ellie waiting for him at the end of his appointment. 

Ellie took one look at his face and leapt up to meet him. Wordlessly, she grabbed his left arm and threw it over her shoulder. She stood on her toes and spoke softly into his ear to avoid being overheard by others in the waiting room.

“I’m here. Lean on me if you need to.”

He managed to walk without leaning on her until they made their way of the waiting room. Once they were out the door, he collapsed into her side and they walked to the car.

“Bad today, huh?”

Alec just grunted in response.

He was quiet on the drive home, and Ellie occasionally cast a worried glance in his direction but didn’t otherwise disturb him. When they pulled up in front of his house, he sat silently for a moment without moving.

“You all right?” Ellie asked, concerned.

He nodded.

“Yeah. Won’t be much good for the rest of the day, though.”

“That’s all right. There’s nothing urgent that needs your attention. Come on, let’s go in, and I’ll make you some dinner for later.”

He went straight to the couch and limply fell back into the cushions. Ellie brought him a heating pad, then gently removed his shoes and pulled his feet up onto the couch. He watched her with a mixture of exhaustion and admiration.

“Go ahead. Say it,” he muttered, defeated.

“Seems like I don’t need to say a thing. I’m certain that next time you won’t give me any horseshit about driving yourself to your next appointment.”

“I suppose not,” he said, ruefully. He began to shake his head. “How can something that’s supposed to be helping me hurt as badly as the bloody gunshot wound did in the first place?”

Ellie smiled and stroked his arm, and he felt his body begin to melt into the sofa.

“What is it that Sam says to you about pain or suffering, or whatever?”

Alec rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. 

“’It’s got to hurt to heal,’” he recited. “I think it’s just some bullshit platitude he’s made up to justify his sadistic streak.”

Ellie laughed softly.

“Why don’t you rest for a bit, love. I’ll make you some dinner for later, so all you’ll have to do is heat it up after I’ve gone.”

He exhaled deeply, trying in vain to buoy his energy.

“K. Umm, Ellie?”

“Yes, love?”

It had briefly occurred to Alec that this would be a perfect time to point out that living in the same household would be far more convenient. But now, as he tried to raise the subject, his head grew heavy, and he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes open.

“I thinggggg…” was what he ended up saying as his eyes closed fully and his head drooped to the side.

“I guess it can wait,” Ellie said, chuckling fondly. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and draped it over him, then disappeared into the kitchen to fix his dinner for later.

Later, when he awoke, his house was empty of her presence, and Alec rued the fact that he had missed another opportunity to bring up the possibility of combining households.

He also missed _her_.

\------------------

On Wednesday, the first urgent call of the year came into CID – an armed robbery, at the jewelry store on the high street. More than fifty thousand pounds' worth of inventory had been stolen, and the security guard had been pistol whipped.

A grim Alec sent Ellie and Katie Harford, as Alec himself had still not been cleared for field duty. As Ellie and Katie investigated on scene, Alec spent most of the morning making calls and researching recent similar events. He hated being stuck in the office, but was determined to find some answers that might shed some light on the crime.

Ellie and Katie had been out on the call for several hours when Alec’s mobile rang.

“Alec, I just got a call from Fred’s school, and it seems he’s sick. I don’t think I’m going to be able to get away from here any time soon. Is there any way – “

“I can get him.”

“Are you sure you can get away? This case seems like it’s something big, maybe.”

“I’m sure. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take my laptop and work from your place.” He took a breath. “Meanwhile, I found out that there’ve been similar robberies in Weymouth and Bridport within the last two months. It’s worth looking into when you get back.”

“I will.” She paused for the briefest of moments. “Alec. Thank you for this.”

“No need. Talk soon.”

He ended the call before she could say anything else or foist any more gratitude in his direction.

Fred was flushed and glassy-eyed when Alec collected him from the office of his school. His normal exuberance was replaced by a dull lethargy, although he brightened a bit when he saw Alec.

“Hi, Uncle Alec,” he said weakly.

“Heya, Fred. Not feeling so well, eh?”

Fred shook his head forlornly. Alec walked to him and lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. He could feel Fred’s feverish heat through his shirt.

“Poor wee lad.”

“Uncle Alec, carry me?”

Alec hesitated, unsure if picking up a solidly built seven-year-old was something his doctor would approve of, or if it would earn him an extra torturous session with Sam the next week. But any hesitation lost out to Fred’s liquid eyes, looking up at him, miserable and pleading. 

“’Course I will, Freddy.”

He opened his arms, and the boy wobbled to him, sagging into his legs. Alec bent down, grabbed Fred underneath his armpits and lifted the boy into his arms, using all his willpower to keep from yelping in pain. Fred fell limp against his chest, and as Alec shifted his weight to ease the pressure on his sore right side, Fred’s head flopped on his shoulder.

“Let’s get you home, lad.”

A few hours later, Alec was sitting on Ellie’s couch studying his laptop, reading police reports from what he thought might be related incidents to the high street robbery. Fred was curled up against Alec’s side, dead asleep. He had refused to go to bed, despite how terrible he was feeling, insisting on staying with Alec on the couch. Alec had let Fred use his body as a pillow, and it hadn’t taken long before the boy had fallen asleep, tangled up in the blanket that Alec had tossed over him, the heat radiating from his little body.

Ellie swept in later that afternoon, harried and concerned.

“How is he?” she asked right away, throwing her things on the table.

“He’s down for the count. Got a fever.”

Ellie crossed the room and bent down to give Alec a kiss, placing a hand on Fred’s forehead.

“Christ, he’s so hot! Why is he here with you and not in bed?”

“He wouldn’t settle down there, so I let him stay out here with me, and he went right to sleep. He’s just been laying here, burning a hole through my shirt.”

“My poor boy.” She touched Alec’s face. “I think I should get him to his room, though. It doesn’t seem like a great idea to have him laying all over you.”

Alec chuckled.

“It’s a bit late for that,” he said. “But I can take him to his room if you’d like.”

Ellie glared at him.

“No, you can’t. You’re not supposed to be lifting that much weight.”

Alec looked sheepish.

“Too late for that as well.”

Ellie’s eyebrows shot upward, but she didn’t speak. Instead, she swooped down and hefted Fred off the couch, blanket and all. Casting a meaningful look at Alec, she carried Fred up the stairs, returning a few minutes later. She plopped down on the couch next to Alec, leaned against his shoulder, and stroked his arm tenderly.

“You can’t throw caution to the wind like that, love. Remember that you have to also take care of _you._ ”

“I know, I know, but it was so hard when he looked up at me and just, um, _needed_ me. I was powerless against it.”

Ellie smiled knowingly. 

“I get it. _Still_.”

“Noted.” He kissed the top of her head. “Now tell me what you’ve been doing all day.”

Ellie updated him on the field investigation, and Alec showed her the results of his research, which had them both agreeing that the local case was related to the previous two incidents.

“One of us should be in the office right now,” Alec said. “I’ll go, and you can stay here with wee Fred. I’ll call you with any developments.”

Ellie nodded, and she leaned in and kissed him gently.

“Thank you.”

“Not necessary. We’re in this together,” he said as he shrugged his coat on and lumbered out the door.

\-----------------

Thursday was a mess of swirling activity at CID. Alec spent most of the day on the phone or studying CCTV footage. Ellie worked part of the day from home, then got Lucy to stay with Fred so she could join in the CID whirlwind for a while before she and Alec needed to leave to attend Tom’s awards ceremony.

Late in the afternoon, Alec was going over the same bit of CCTV footage for the fourth or fifth time when his mobile buzzed in his pocket. Assuming it was work-related, he didn’t look to see who it was before answering in his usual brusque manner.

“Alec Hardy.”

“Hi, Dad.”

He brightened as he heard Daisy’s voice.

“Hey, Darlin’! This is a welcome surprise.”

“Dad, listen. Something’s wrong with Mum, and I think you should go and check on her.”

There was a practiced calm to her voice, but Alec could tell it was tenuous at best.

“What do you mean, Dais? What’s happening?”

“Well, she’s been, maybe, a bit depressed since all of that stuff with you and Ellie a few months ago. She hasn’t been the same since.”

Alec thought back to the encounters he and Ellie had with Tess when she had, without asking, assumed she could step in and provide care for Alec through his recovery. Tess had apparently decided she regretted her split from Alec and was still in love with him. She had become concerned that he and Ellie were getting too close and had jealously set upon an ill-advised campaign to win him back. Both he and Ellie had given her a healthy dose of reality about the nature of their relationship and had sent Tess back to Sandbrook embarrassed and unfulfilled. Alec hadn’t spoken with her since then.

“I thought she was getting a bit better before Christmas,” Daisy went on, “but then I guess she saw some picture of you and Ellie at an opera, or something?”

“We did go to an opera last weekend, but how would she have seen a photo?”

“Dad.” Daisy clicked her tongue. “She obsessively Googles you now.”

Alec’s jaw dropped in disbelief.

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not! She saw the photo on some Dorset society page, or something. She called me this afternoon, and was outraged and crying hysterically because she says you were wearing a suit _she_ had bought for you while you were out with Ellie.”

“What the hell?”

“She’s not rational, Dad. I think you need to talk to her. I’m worried she’ll do something crazy.”

“I can give her a call, I suppose.”

“You can try, but I don’t think she’ll answer it. I really think you need to go and check on her.”

“Dais, it’s not a good time. We have a new case, and Tom – “

“Please, Da. Please.” It was almost a whisper.

Alec sighed in resignation. He knew there was no way he could deny his daughter’s almost frantic request.

“All right. I’ll go tonight.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you, Darlin’. I’ll call you after I see her.”

After he had hung up, he caught Ellie’s eye and waved her into his office, informing her of the conversation he had just finished with Daisy. 

“Christ,” Ellie breathed when he was done.

“I have to go,” he said simply, dragging his hand down his face. 

“I know,” Ellie murmured, reaching for his hand and squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

“Tom may not understand.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Thanks.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand again.

“Don’t thank me. We’re in this together, remember?”

Alec nodded gratefully, exhaling slowly, and gave Ellie’s hand a return squeeze.

As he drove to Sandbrook that evening, he lamented that he still hadn’t had an opportunity to broach the subject of combining households with Ellie.

 _Life_ kept getting in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The massage episode is based on personal experience. I had a therapist who literally laughed while inflicting pain, and he really did enjoy hearing how foul his patients could get while he was torturing them. His platitude was "pain is just weakness leaving the body", but I refused to use it for this story. 😜


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec visits Tess. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the return of the ambiguously evil-ish Tess. Sorry/not sorry. 😁

As Alec pulled up to his former home in Sandbrook, he was somewhat blindsided by the absolute irony of this moment. Here he was, reluctantly summoned by his daughter to pull his ex-wife from the depths of despair, while he personally was more fulfilled than he had been in years. It felt like some sort of bizarre role-reversal, and while he certainly didn’t want Tess to suffer, he was grateful to be the rescuer, rather than the one in need of rescue.

He paused a moment before knocking. He had tried to ring Tess several times on the way, but as Daisy had suggested might happen, she hadn’t answered. He tried once more as he stood on the doorstep. As the phone rang on his end, he heard the very faint strains of Loch Lomond through the closed door. Briefly amused by her choice of ringtone, he took a deep breath, then knocked sharply on the door.

He waited for a few minutes, but Tess didn’t come. He knocked again, with the same result.

“Tess,” he said to the door, after knocking a third time, “It’s Alec. I know you’re in there. I heard your phone ring. Just open the door, will ya? It’s bloody cold out here.”

He waited for a few minutes and was getting ready to try again when the door clicked, then opened slowly, revealing a very disheveled looking Tess, wearing a bathrobe, wrapped up in a blanket. Her eyes were red-rimmed, with purplish circles underneath.

Over the years, Alec had become accustomed to an almost detached, aloof strength from Tess. Looking at her now – he barely recognized the formidable woman that had literally broken his heart. She looked shrunken and somehow much older than the last time he had seen her, just five months back.

“Why are you here?” she whispered, her eyes wide.

“Daisy called me. She was worried about you.” He shoved his hands in his trouser pockets. “Can I come in, or are you going to leave me standing out here in the cold?”

Wordlessly, she stepped back to give him room to enter. 

“I’m going to make us some tea,” he said, breezing past her toward the kitchen. “We need to talk.”

A few minutes later, he emerged from the kitchen holding two steaming mugs. Tess had pressed herself into a corner of the sofa, and Alec set her mug on the edge of the coffee table. He eased himself into a chair opposite her, involuntarily emitting a groan as he sat.

“Still hurting?” she asked without looking at him.

“Some. It’s managed, though.”

“By Ellie Miller?”

He exhaled.

“No, by me, but Ellie helps keep me on track.”

“Good.” Her eyes flitted over him. “You’re looking well.”

“Thanks.”

“I guess being in love suits you.”

“Tess. Let’s talk about you, not me.”

She glared at him.

“Came all the way up here so you could see me in such a sorry state?”

He shook his head.

“That’s not why I’m here. Your daughter was worried about you, and she asked me to come. I just want to make sure you’re all right.”

Tess snorted derisively and picked up her tea.

“I’m not going to do damage to myself, if that’s what you’re wondering. You came all this way for nothing.”

Alec sipped from his mug, assessing her over the rim.

“You may not be doing damage to yourself, but you’re not caring for yourself either, and that’s just as bad. I should know.”

She smirked.

“Yeah, you were just as miserable as I am now until the great Ellie Miller came along.”

Alec felt anger begin to rise up in his chest and took a deep breath to keep it at bay.

“Let’s leave Ellie out of this. This is about you.”

“No,” Tess shot back, “it’s about _you_. _And_ Ellie Miller.”

“Tess, whatever problem you have with Ellie has only to do with _you_ – not her. If you have something to say to _me_ , say it, but you’ll bloody well leave Ellie out of it.”

“So chivalrous,” she scoffed. “The gentleman protecting the honor of his lady love.”

Alec felt his face get hot.

“You can drop the bullshit right now, Tess. I came to help you, but I have no intention of listening to whatever vitriol you want to heap on my relationship with Ellie. You made it clear how you felt about it back in September. I can see nothing has changed.”

Tess sniffed.

“Oh, but it _has_ changed. Back then, I was certain your relationship was reactionary, and that you two would never last past September. I suppose you’ll want me to admit I was wrong?”

Alec sighed deeply, running his index finger over the rim of his mug. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Not at all. I’m not here to gloat. I just want you to be healthy. I know what it’s like to wallow in sadness and despair. It nearly destroyed me, and I don’t want the same for you.”

She met his gaze for the first time.

“I did that to you,” she said, frankly.

He gave a brief nod.

“Partially,” he admitted. 

“I drove you away. Biggest mistake of my life.”

“Regret is pointless. The trick is figuring out how to move onward.”

“Easy for you to say, since you’re the one with the perfect new relationship.”

“It’s not bloody perfect, Tess. Nothing is perfect.”

“Sounds quite perfect from my vantage point,” she huffed. “You both looked suitably adoring in that photo from the opera. I noticed you were wearing that navy suit I bought you for my cousin’s wedding. That was a nice touch.”

“Christ, Tess, it wasn’t done as a personal affront to you. It is the nicest suit I have.”

His face flushed with heat again.

“And I know you chose the opera because you remembered how much I hated it.”

“Tess…”

“Did Ellie Miller enjoy it? Did she hang on your arm and cry crocodile tears when some bloody screeching soprano died?”

Alec sat and stared at her in disbelief. His face burned, and his head began to pound, presumably from fury.

“You need to stop talking,” he said, with deadly calm.

“What do you see in her anyway?” she continued, as though she hadn’t heard him. “She’s not even that pretty.”

Alec stood up quickly – too quickly – and his head started to spin. He immediately sat back down and steadied himself, trying to shake the dizziness, willing himself to keep from exploding with rage.

“I know you’re lashing out because you’re hurting,” he said, with as much compassion as he could muster, “but I don’t like the direction this conversation has taken, and I will end it if you keep this up.”

She glared at him defiantly.

“Suit yourself. You’re the one who drove all the way here.”

“All right, Tess.” He stood again, but slowly and carefully, with an accompanying wince. “Have it your way. But I strongly suggest you get some professional help.”

He took a step toward the door. His head throbbed.

“Alec, wait. I’m sorry. Please sit down.”

Her eyes were pleading, and he hesitated only a moment before relenting.

“Fine,” he said, dropping inelegantly back down into the chair. “But no more of _that_.”

“You’re right, that was awful of me. No wonder you aren’t in love with me anymore.”

“For God’s sake, Tess, are you listening to yourself? I’ve had about enough of this passive aggressive horseshit.”

Alec scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling decidedly lightheaded, but determined to steer the conversation in a less frustrating direction.

“Listen to me, Tess. You’re taking out all your anger on Ellie right now, and when you realize you’re doing it, you become angry with yourself. You’re being cruel to the both of you. It’s not productive. You must find a way to live with the past and move on to the future.”

He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt scratchy and odd.

“But I cheated on you,” she said, simply. 

“Yes, you did, but I’ve forgiven you and moved past it. You need to do the same.”

“Without you, though.”

“Yes.”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“I deserve this,” she said softly.

“No, you deserve to learn from your mistakes, like we all do. Honestly, I don’t blame you completely for cheating on me. I wasn’t the most attentive husband. I didn’t communicate all that well, I immersed myself completely in my work, and I was so traumatized by Pippa Gillespie that I was barely functional.”

“I should have tried harder to understand.”

“Maybe,” he said, nodding. “But now you know what to work on for next time.”

“Assuming there will be a next time.”

“I’m certain there will. You’re a smart, beautiful woman.”

“But not as beautiful as Ellie Miller.”

He sighed, frustrated once again with the endless circular route this conversation seemed to be taking.

“ _Different_ than Ellie Miller,” he replied, wearily.

“Tell me what you see in her, physically.”

“That’s not a good idea, Tess.”

The throbbing in his head was worse. He pressed his fingers against his temple and closed his eyes. Tess noticed and looked at him with concern.

“Are you all right?”

“Just a headache. I’ll be fine.”

“You look like you don’t feel well.”

He certainly didn’t feel well, and it suddenly occurred to him why.

“I may have caught something from Fred.” 

“Fred?”

“Ellie’s youngest boy. I picked him up sick from school the other day, and no doubt he shared his germs with me.”

She looked at him coolly.

“Oh, you’re a father to Ellie Miller’s kids now?” she asked, her voice dripping with bitterness. 

Alec narrowed his eyes and glared at her.

“Ellie and I are in a strong, committed relationship. I love her boys, and they love me.” He looked away. “Well – at least one of them does. Still working on the other.”

The idea that there might be some trouble seemed to placate her a bit, and she gave him a thin smile. His headache throbbed again, demanding his attention.

“Might you have some paracetamol?”

Tess perked up a bit more.

“I do. I’ll make us more tea and bring you some.”

She disappeared into the kitchen, and Alec took the opportunity to have a brief text conversation with Ellie.

**A: “I don’t think it was a good idea to come here. She’s in a weird place right now.”**

**E: “I’m sure you’re helping. You can be quite reasonable when you want to be.”**

**A: “Thanks (I think). Since when did I become the voice of reason?”**

**E: “I’m a good influence.”**

**A: “You are that.”**

**E: “Not to change the subject but you’ll have to talk with Tom when you get back.”**

**A: “Figured I would.”**

Just then, Tess walked out of the kitchen with their mugs.

“Here we are,” she announced with a bright smile.

“Just got to finish this,” he muttered, indicating his phone.

Her smile faded.

“Ellie Miller?”

He nodded and turned back to his mobile.

**A: “Got to go. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back. Love you.”**

**E: “Good luck. Love you too! XO”**

He lay the phone on the table and reached for his tea. Tess pulled two tablets from the pocket of her robe and handed them to him.

“Here. This should help your headache.”

He muttered his thanks and washed down the tablets with a mouthful of strong tea. When he looked up, Tess was smiling at him.

“What? Why are you smiling? Do I have something on my face?” He swiped at imaginary crumbs.

“No,” she said faintly. “No reason. I’m just glad you’re here. It was nice of you to come all the way up here to try and save me from myself.”

“Daisy asked me to.”

“But you could have said no.”

“You know I would do anything for Daisy.”

“Or any damsel in distress, even if it is your evil ex-wife.”

He sighed deeply.

“You’re not evil, Tess. Well, not _that_ evil anyway.”

He chuckled softly to himself and was pleased to see the corners of her mouth turn up as well. He cleared his throat again.

“I think you should talk to someone. Get some therapy. Find some coping strategies.”

“What, you’re an expert on mental health now?” she snapped.

He nodded earnestly.

“Both Ellie and I had to go to therapy after ‘the incident’. It worked wonders for her. She was having frequent terrible nightmares that she doesn’t have nearly as often now.”

“What about you?”

He paused thoughtfully.

“Let’s just say that it helped me to put some things into perspective.”

“Something to consider, I suppose.”

“Good.”

He sipped his tea and tried to stifle a yawn. He wasn’t feeling any better, but he felt as though he was getting a bit sleepy. He looked at his watch and noted that it was nearly 10.

“I should go. We have a new case, and I’ll need to be there first thing.”

“Alec, you look exhausted. Maybe you shouldn’t drive back tonight.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

He stood up, and he felt as though he was made of lead.

“You really should stay,” Tess protested. “You’re tired. You have a fever. You shouldn’t drive.”

“I just need to get home.”

Why was he suddenly so unbelievably tired?

Tess stood and put her hand on his arm.

“You can’t,” she said softly.

He blinked at her, not quite sure if he was hearing her right. His head hurt and his eyes drooped.

“Why can’t I?” he asked, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Promise you won’t get angry with me.”

Despite his overwhelming fatigue and pounding head, he sensed trouble.

“Tess, what’ve you done?”

She fixed him with a gaze that seemed strangely defiant and apologetic at the same time.

“I gave you a double dose of nighttime Panadol. You can’t drive.”

It took a moment for her words to sink in, and when they did, Alec exploded.

“What the – why the hell would you do that? Goddamn it, Tess! What is wrong with you??”

He slumped back down into the chair and buried his aching head in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Alec, but I didn’t think you should drive that far when you were tired and not feeling well.”

“That’s not your bloody decision to make, Tess. I could report you for…”

He suddenly couldn’t think of the name of the offense she had committed. Tess smiled sweetly, ignoring his anger.

“You should lie down, Alec. I shouldn’t think you’ll be awake for much longer.”

Alec felt desperate for sleep now, barely able to crawl across to the sofa.

“It’s all right,” Tess soothed. “I’ll let Ellie know you’re here.”

“No,” Alec protested weakly, as he flopped onto the sofa. “My mobile…”

“I’ll take care of it, love. Don’t worry about a thing. Just rest.”

But Alec was already asleep. Tess watched him for a moment, then pulled off his shoes, loosened his tie, and kissed his hot forehead. Picking up his mobile, she opened Alec’s text messages, scrolled through his exchanges with Ellie, then crafted one of her own.

**A: “This is Tess on Alec’s phone. He wasn’t feeling well and was too tired to drive. He fell asleep on my couch. I told him I’d let you know.”**

She smiled knowingly as the phone buzzed, indicating an incoming call. She jabbed at the button to answer the call.

“Is he all right?” Ellie asked, with obvious concern.

“He’s headachy and feverish. He couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to call you.”

Ellie seemed skeptical. 

“All right. I suppose I’ll talk to him first thing in the morning. I’m surprised he didn’t drag himself back to Broadchurch anyway. We have a new case that he’s supervising.”

“He mentioned it. I promise I’ll send him on his way as soon as he wakes up.”

“Fine. Thank you. Are you, uh, doing all right?”

“I’m doing wonderfully. What would make you think any differently?”

“Well, I just thought – Alec said – never mind. I’m glad you’re doing well, Tess. Please tell Alec to call me when he wakes up.”

“Of course. Take care, Ellie.”

Tess ended the call and placed Alec’s mobile on the coffee table. Perching on the edge of the sofa, she drained the last of her tea, now cooled and bitter. She reached for the blanket she had tossed over the arm of the couch and pulled it over herself as she lay down next to Alec and settled in against his warm body.

_I deserve this_ , she thought, closing her eyes and throwing her arm across Alec’s chest.

She may have been losing Alec to Ellie Miller, but for one more night at least, _she_ would be the one waking up next to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I respond to all comments, so please feel free to drop a note!


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